I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
