We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He passed out mid-signature
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
