did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
