I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
