just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
