i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
