I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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