wrigley field is MILF paradise
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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