Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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