Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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