Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
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