What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
