I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
