You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Randomize