ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
