After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
