I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
