yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
