We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
