i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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