is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
