you turned your livingroom into a bong?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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