I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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