I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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