Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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