Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
