Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
