honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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