My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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