I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize