His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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