Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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