Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
