no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Randomize
