I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
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