Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Randomize
