So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
