you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I need moral support for this bender
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
