you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
did i just pee glitter
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