i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
