brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
