Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
