"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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