sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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