I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
