Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
