Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
