I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
