So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
