saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
