I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
