I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Randomize
