i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i've created a new STD.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
