glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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