I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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