I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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