Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
