Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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