he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
