why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
