in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
