They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
