did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
