You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
