omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I think I am morally bankrupt
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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