3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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