If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
