The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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